Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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