paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
