we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
