I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
COCAINE IS GR8
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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