If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
