shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
What a dumb baby whore.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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