So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I believe in your delicious
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
