More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
