It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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