It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The beer is more important than you right now.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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