Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
