uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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