it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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