Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
