I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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