you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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