Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
