found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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