nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
