Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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