I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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