Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
