he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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