..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
