we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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