$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
