Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
