did you get engaged???
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It was like getting head from an anaconda
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
