That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
