Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
