you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My vagina is officially offended.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
