I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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