marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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