You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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