its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
