your room smells of hookers.
And success
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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