she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
