It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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