sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
