I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Randomize
