omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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