cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
