so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
