he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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