We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
