so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
