Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Dick very happy bro
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
