But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
