Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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