I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
