yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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