I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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