The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
