I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
