Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm like, not good at living.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
