So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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