I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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