It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
