i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
