I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
