I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
