shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
