I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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