so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize