Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
