Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize