I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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